It’s so good to live with LOVE! Learn to Love Yourself
An article by KLS Fuerte, author of “Never Saw You Coming”
I looked around me whilst sitting at the kitchen table, and I saw it, it’s all around me! Yes, love is all around me, and I breathe it without even thinking. The walls are my giant notice board, a very special notice board indeed. It does not have the endless shopping lists that it could have, instead my kitchen wall is lined with handwritten quotes that I wrote in my self-love moments, just to remind me that Multiple Sclerosis is not going to control me because “I am number 1”, I want to “live, laugh and love with a passion” and simply “La vie est belle!” It is true that MS is playing a big part in my life, but the biggest part in my life, the engine that is keeping me going even in the hardest times, is love!
It has challenged me and come to me in so many different forms, but when I think about love, I can only feel good. It is the motivator that makes my world go round. This morning I spoke to my students in assembly to plant the seeds of teaching in their minds, and I told them that all I do in the classroom is out of love. Love makes me teach, it makes me rejoice when they “get it”, when they feel energised and inspired as they leave my classroom. It is also love that makes me give them detention if they have not completed their homework. They smiled, but it’s true... Love for education, love for inspiration, love of learning, love for sharing the knowledge… My love for teaching is now manifesting itself in my desire to teach you about loving yourself.
However, when I think about all these stories I have shared with you, the fiascos and the players, love was always there, inside of me. I do not mean the love for them, which was present, obviously; what I really mean is the love for myself. I did not know it was there, I was just living with it. That love, I think, is the source, the force that enabled me to stand back up and keep going after each challenge, after each broken heart. I learned to turn those bad experiences into something more positive.
Every one of my fiascos has been a love story, long or short. “Love stories” for myself. Unconsciously, I learned to love myself more in order to survive. Every challenge, every realisation that this guy, or that guy was not good for me in the end, made me realise that I deserved better and I was going to work hard to get it. That meant working on me, because I was the centre of attention. I had to pay attention to myself, stop, think, and reflect before moving on.
Asking myself “why do I fall in love so easily?”, because it feels so good! It is that simple, so why not? I can decide how much in love I can fall in love with, a small or a large amount, though real love does not measure, but we must agree, that love comes in different shapes and forms. Anyhow, it feels good to fall in love, because the physical and emotional energies that love generates in one’s body and mind can only be a good sensation.
In love, I feel beautiful, desirable, happy, ready to face the world! It’s not only the love for the man in my life, at the time, but it is more importantly the love for myself which I project by being happy with myself. This I learnt after many catastrophes, many chaotic journeys in life. However, every time, I bounced back, because of the love for me, inside of me! That I understand now. I wrote it on the wall, without thinking deeply about it, but it’s there looking at me, winking, saying “Kiki, I’ve been there every step of your journeys”.
So what can I teach you from my discovery? Learn to love yourself! Stop and think, when things go wrong, or not the way you want them to go… Just take to time to be with yourself and reflect, asking yourself some key questions: “Can I name one positive thing in that relationship?” “Can I name 2, 3, 4...?” If you find a lot, then you did well. If you find only one, then you are also doing well, because 1 is better than 0.
Ask yourself “What did I learn?” “What will I do differently next time” “Did I show the best version of me?” “Was I really happy or pretending?” “Am I ready for a new love?” “Will I be able to love again?” “Why not?” You might not like the answers to your own questions, but trust me, this is a good exercise to go through, because I believe that in the end, you learn to love yourself a little more to continue on your love journey.
I believe in love, because I have been through many chaotic love journeys, and I’m still standing! Totally in love with me and my flows, but ready to give even more love around me. It’s so good to be in love, with yourself!
From me, KLS Fuerte, to you, with love.